Ineffable Ontological Detanglement > Behavioral Dysregulation

This is the stupidest fucking thing, this is the most bizarre off the wall personal darkness. In childhood it's easy enough to just find the tick option, my brain is going to let me do this... Hm, creates a bit of a thrill. I could destroy myself. This person now thinks I'm a thing that I personally have deemed more interesting. I can be an ever so slightly better me. It's fun. You carry this into adulthood, you become a nonsensical dark secrets nonsense person. Inside, you have a deep dark secret, in your alone time you will drift into horror. Seven people within your life think you have a pet hamster, however you do not have a pet hamster. You're thinking about their connections... One of these people knows somebody who knows I do not have a pet hamster. What happens? ...What happens? Darkness, everybody's cold shoulder. Everybody in my life is darkly looking down on me, whispering secrets. It could be happening now. It could be happening now...

I can deliver to you the psychology of a pathological liar as a brief former childhood pathological liar myself. I found the tick. It didn't take me long to realize this is a bunch of nonsense why did I ever feel the urge to do this. But, I picked up the skill. My experience as a pathological liar, my possession of the sociopath, empath and schizoid conditions, deep emotional repression and processing dysregulation face, with a an OCD paranoid anxiety ridden base covering, perfect levels of cool temperament and bravery, high charm, speed of light thought formation, lateral thinking, a completely properly compartmentalized mind that will never surprise me with emotional expression, general presumption that with the vast majority of people I never make direct eye contact often times for their benefit, knowing just how other people think, eidetic hyperthymesia to keep a running inventory of lies, clairsentient intuition and brilliant insights on how to spot a liar do in fact create the perfect master of deception. I would never be able to fool an electronic lie detector but I would imagine I could fool the best of the organic lie detectors. Deep down I really do understand the nature of our Christian existence and that all of us science-y minded people just fling a lot of gibberish and we don't really understand what we're saying either.

To my parents I had quite a few, they pretty much just seemed to receive anything they were very easy, however to the general public I only had like four or five at most I was a lot more careful with them. The one that sealed it was age seven, I have two older sisters who live in Toronto. Seems more interesting, sisters, older, Toronto... Makes more sense than only child. Big city, still Canada, split family or some such. I think I'm that now. Okay so within these three kids and this teacher I am now that, noted. Nothing about this contradicts anything anybody else knows me to be, okay check. I think I'm creating a problem. That one does very little for me. All of these do very little for me, I'm restricting myself to something far too believable, my life is not very impressive to any of these people it's basically like 5% more interesting than who I am in the eyes of me... It's probably about equivalent in the eyes of them. Alright, well, two older sisters in Toronto for now, I'm sure it'll disappear in everyone's mind in a few weeks or hours. Everyone is stupid enough that if it ever comes up I'm an only child I can just act confused. I'm going to hold this in reserve with my parents, I won't tweak out on it anymore but I think I'm going to need to keep a certain false barrier established for some reason.

I knew my parents were not just pretending to allow it, because lying is a thing they took incredibly seriously. Way too stupid far seriously. As a six year old a bully was harassing me, when he picked me up I bit his arm. My teacher for whatever reason had some kind of grudge against me, even though I was a perfectly well behaved well mannered child, I think maybe it was me making her question all of her life philosophies when she was teaching me how to properly hold a pencil and I was saying "Why do I need to do it the regular accepted way when my writing is a lot cleaner and easier to read when I do it my way?" So she said she was going to call my parents, I said something like "But it was self defense" and she said something like "You can't talk your way out of THIS one you awful child." I did have a reputation with the teachers of being a word manipulator, I would sometimes charm bullies into protecting me from other bullies, I would sometimes word concept myself out of getting beaten up. Awful child, awful awful manipulative child. Apparently my mother got the call at work and she was asking for parenting advice from her co-workers and they were basically all saying "What you should do is REWARD the child" and she agreed, but when she tested me with an "Anything interesting happen today?" and I said "No." I still got grounded for two weeks for lying. Deep darkness, very deep darkness, everything that is me has been obliterated in their eyes darkness. My mother learned from this that I am a LIAR, and so now she has entered a contradiction. By adulthood I am about five hundred different contradictions. Over half of these contradictions, I am actually neither of these things. Her LIAR contradiction, no, I am neither a liar nor was I ever honest with you before the moment you established that I am actually a liar. Every child with natural perceptual filter bypass under the ownership of parents that do not have natural perceptual filter bypass learn pretty fast they're doing this themselves, what we have here is an obstacle, I am forever everything they misinterpreted about me when I was three. No, my system only ever would have inserted one side of the contradiction though had I been aware of the potentiality to be that funny cruel I probably would have been that funny cruel. Most of the things my mother believes I am, both sides of the contradiction are all her... Her entire framework is probably about one third my insertion.

The actual me is not a liar, with my parents not so much either I'm just a complex information omitter, deflector and diverter, however I did sometimes still require my skills with my parents. Before I was able to properly establish "Stop doing my laundry" without being declared psychotic, her evil paranoid hallucination... I asked my mother about a certain article of clothing, SHIT WHOOPS, I did not approach this discussion with an analysis of potentiality, uh oh, now she assumes it's time to casually go into my room and start going through my dresser, who knows what could happen now. Luckily the character that is now me that is Rob within mother has nothing to hide so I'm all calm and cool. She gets there, "These clothes aren't folded and arranged very well. Do you mind if I rearrange them?" Of course the answer needs to be no, risk analysis, an answer of yes I mind is way more likely to blow up, I'll just have to grit my teeth, anything can happen now. Yep, there it is. An old notepad under my clothes. I remember what I did now, I wanted to go over that notepad because I wasn't sure all of it went on my computer but I knew if they ever decided to snoop there are things on that notepad that get me back in the psych ward. I'll just hide it here and get to it tomorrow or something. I forgot about it. Ooops. A. You are a paranoid psychotic, why the fuck would you hide a notepad? B. What are you hiding? "There's a notepad here..." Calm cool confused "Oh? Huh, weird. I guess I must have set it there when I was getting dressed one day and it got buried."

The best example I've always known of pathological liars is false trip reports on erowid, the people who want to present that they are impressive drugs people to the drugs people who are not impressed by other drugs people without actually doing any research in order to properly present how these drugs operate. N-no a k-hole is not you literally sitting in a roller coaster. Oh yeah don't forget to put the Shakespearean melodrama that is your life in the trip report, you came home from a funeral your parents are asleep in the next room they don't even know you're a ketamine addict your dark little secrets dark depressed person darkness yes. You're everything we want to be. Nobody even knows who you are man, we don't even know who to be impressed with. I don't remember if you said you injected into your veins instead of your muscles but I hope you injected into your veins instead of your muscles.

You know how to spot an idiotic liar, inconsistency, eye contact, too many details too little details, delays, defensiveness, uncomfortable body language, unrelated negativity, oversimplifying the statement because they're too stupid to talk and lie at the same time, removing the first person pronoun likely semi-consciously attempting to remove themselves from themselves. You can't just do it by reading about it, though, not most of you. You look for things like touching the face, nervousness and irritability thinking you can just click it, you saw the sign and now you know. It isn't that simple, there are a lot of little subtleties that most minds cannot pick up on, you have to bypass the fact that you know the signs and basically semi-ignore the signs, they're just things happening around the little subtleties. You're annoying. Sometimes people are just touching their face, sometimes people are just nervous and irritable.

To go beyond this you need the empath, the paranoid, and either play a lot of poker or watch paranormal activity shows. But I'll get you there without any of that with what I have learned. Obviously we see reality as we can't yet understand and it is true here and there on paranormal activity shows, however it is also a playground for people with deception addiction... Pathological liars or former pathological liars who can no longer serve the tick in day to day life and this goes to some dark internal places. We start with the prepared "You just think... That I... Am... a LIAR!!" sad defeated angry eye droop. The story is all prepared, it's presentation time, and they just know all you assholes aren't going to believe them and so they spout their story with an internal "Eugh... I'm sick of you assholes not believing me... I'm just gonna keep spouting..." Then there is the far simpler super happy evil excited "I'm fooling you you idiot!" which is about 2% more wide eyed, with a 6% smirk and an air of anticipation, they just can't wait to see you be fooled.

In poker you can refine face reading a little because you know people are trying to present a lie as truth a truth as lie, you understand how smart they are so you understand how many layers of lie there are to it, a true expert knows another true expert when they know you can never know how many layers of lie there are, and it isn't even that impressive it's just that most people are very simple. Yes yes big stupid smile, is it real is it fake? Is it fake real is it real fake? Ooohhh no that's not what I'm looking at. No it's best not to signal an attempt at signaling, it's best to signal while trying to look like you're not signaling. Play with double faking within that feeling once people clue into you doing that.

Instead of saying you didn't do it, say something along the lines of "Oh I don't know, maybe. I don't think I did that I don't remember. I wasn't paying attention." I found that one at age six. The last time I used it was age eighteen when I broke a door brace thing with a payloader at work and the boss told me it's okay if I did I can say it I'll only get in trouble if I'm caught lying but at that point I was already invested. I don't really know what it feels like to be afraid you'll be caught in a lie, that's the thing that gets you, the fear of being caught. You need to have confidence in your abilities, you need to have a really cool baseline temperament and bravery, you need the sociopathic ability to compartmentalize yourself out of what you're doing, and it really helps to have schizoid detachment towards what this person may be thinking. Also you need to find within yourself the areas to explore to present believable, I didn't remember looking at the broken door brace, but when he told me about it I remembered hitting it. That helped. Presentation is easier for me when nobody is expecting much facial expression anyway.

Also there's "Yes, yes I did do that one, sorry... But no I did not do that other one." That one is easy, a lot of children find that one. However I bet you didn't find "YES fine okay I was lying about that one. Also I was lying about this other one you didn't realize. No I was not lying about those other three." Those ones will really help, Christianity. Those ones will help you a lot. Clinging to what I just said is the only way you're going to be able to do this. You're nowhere near this article.