It's Okay, Everyone is Talking About You Behind Your Back: Foreword by Kit Carruthers

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If anybody ever states "I would never say anything behind your back." they're either rampant and on a mission, or they didn't think they would however they recently did. It's uniform, to most of us it is incredibly simple to spot. The correct line is more like "I really try to watch it. Not because... No. Just. In general."

Know that it's happening, probably with everyone you know. If you know you're of the higher level of cognitive functioning and so is everyone you're friends with you should be reasonably safe on people doing false at you and then needing it, not entirely, but, reasonably safe. However obviously you understand every single person in your life who does not bypass their perceptual filters, ego invested or not is false at you and then needing it.

Who else are we gonna talk about? Some other person? If a person isn't talking about you behind your back it's probably even more of an insult.

Ideally, what you want is the exact same level of making fun of people behind their back as you make fun of them to their face. Any and all disparity in either direction is not a good sign, one of them is passive aggressive psychotic.